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Welcome to Erotic Survivor. I am your
host, John Bacchus.

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On Erotic Survivor... What is Erotic
Survivor, you may ask? Simple.

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Eight people, two tribes, one winner.
And the grand prize?

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Twenty dollars.

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What are the rules of Erotic Survivor?

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Simple. Eight people will be divided
into two tribes that will stay on this

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deserted island, Titty Cock.

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out in the Pacific Ocean.

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They will try to eat, drink, and find
shelter to live off the land of

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Within these three days, they will be
subjected to three challenges.

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The best out of two out of three will go
on to the ultimate erotic survivor

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challenge. The losing tribe will then
get to vote who becomes the ultimate

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erotic survivor.

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One person, three days, $20.

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Now, let's meet our contestants.

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You know, basically what I do all day
long is, you know, I work on my

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spirituality. You know, I sit on the bed
of nails.

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I got a few scars. Want to see my scars?

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I'm originally from Trinidad.

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Came up to New York. Been living here
for like the past five years.

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Just my whole life growing up was just
survive. I mean, you did anything you

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could to put bread on your table and put
clothes on your back. I mean,

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everything. It basically was survive.

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I mean, I grew up in the woods, and I
have a lot of experience of walking

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around, getting lost in the woods,
finding my way.

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I've been pretty actively involved with
the church since I was a baby.

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I'm going to win the $20 because I'm the
toughest bitch here.

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I was born originally in Detroit,
Michigan, but they threw me the Delray.

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I work in the censorship department, and
my reason for coming on the

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Survivor show is because I want to show
that there can be entertainment without

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sleeves.

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Okay, attention, survivors.

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I'm glad you all made it ashore, even
though it seemed it was very messy and

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dangerous and whatnot.

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But how we're going to start this, let's
start off with two tribes.

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Let's go with you on one side. You stay
here. You stay here.

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You girls should be on this side.

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Hey, this way, Christian.

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Sir, you're in here.

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And sir, you're in here.

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We really shouldn't touch it. Thank you.
Okay, so we have the Punani tribe

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on this side, and we have the Hehunani
tribe on this side.

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Hehunani! Hey, Punani!

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For three days, all you're going to have
is what you have in your hands right

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now and what's on your person.

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And you're going to try to live off the
land for these three days.

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And within these three terms, there will
be contests.

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in which people will win or lose, and
we'll decide at this who will be the

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ultimate survivor to win $20.

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$20!

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I want to win.

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$20. I suggest that you people go out
into the forest, start building some

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of home, and find something to eat.

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Good luck.

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Let's go, team. Let's go find some beer.

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Beer.

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So, where are you guys from?

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Jersey.

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I am prepared to win that $20 anything I
possibly can.

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I mean anything.

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Well, my whole strategy is that I'm just
going to fuck everybody.

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Um, uh, basically, uh, I was just a go
-go dancer.

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They've never been with a girl like me
before, so I don't know if they're going

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to be able to handle it.

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Would you think that buffalo are
indigenous to this island? I heard

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chips make good food.

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I'm going to miss, like, having orgies.

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Well, I have some ideas. I'm thinking
about getting all the girls together.

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those guys off the island.

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It's about competition.

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They won't know where I'm coming from,
but I'll always know where they are.

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An idea.

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Like, what would...

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This would be a good house.

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Uh,

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no, it's not a fire room, and it doesn't
make a shelter either.

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I'm not the leader. They seem to look up
to me, and that's fine, because I'm

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used to guiding people.

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I make them feel like I'm a cheerleader,
when in fact, there's not one of them

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that I like or trust.

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I don't know if it's an edge. I think
that the planets are aligned, and

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increasing my energy.

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We shouldn't just build a shelter, we
should build a temple. Ward?

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Well, my name's Ward. Ward, I'm
Christian. All right, Christian. And,

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do me a favor. Yeah. And just keep your
Jesus jokes down, because I'm... Oh,

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yeah, man, I like Groovy. He has nice
sandals. He is very groovy.

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That's a good word.

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It's like, you know, we got national
coverage here, you know?

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I should hope that the human race
wouldn't let me down, right?

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I've got a curtain for it.

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There's a curtain by putting leaves.

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I think that somebody who is pretending
to be for the group, like I am,

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is the biggest threat.

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Here's the door. All right. But I'll
keep it open. I'll put it back on when

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get in there. Go ahead.

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Go inside.

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Show us how much shelter there is in
there.

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Wow.

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That's good. Now close the door.

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Wait. I'm going to try. Wait.

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What makes you think you could probably
win the whole competition?

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Lennon's head.

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Okay, cool. I don't see any animals
getting there. Okay.

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Oh, shit!

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I feel that my path is a righteous one.
I'm trying to lead these young people

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along with me, which I think I'm doing
and will do. I think that they'll

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remember me when this is over.

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The one thing I bought on this island
for survival, let me see. I bought my

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lotion.

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Never know when you need to, like, slip
into tight corners.

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Whiskey is a personal item that I hold
dearest to my heart.

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More whiskey. I brought cigarettes.

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I brought with me a Chinese menu so that
if I win the $20,

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I'm going to buy everybody dinner
because that's what a real good person

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do. Well, I brought some ice, but...

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It may not have been the best idea in
the world. It seemed like it made sense

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the time to bring ice on the island. I
figured if I wanted a cold drink, I

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couldn't get it without ice.

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Well, we just got on this island. We've
probably been here for like a half an

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hour. I'm doing the things that we're
supposed to be doing, making our little

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house, our little hut, chopping down
trees with my dildo and stuff.

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Thing's big, so, I mean, just going to
bat it.

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I got so horny.

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After 30 minutes, I just had to come out
here and get myself off because I just

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can't go that long. I mean, they're
going to have to wait. They're going to

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to understand. I just can't wait that
long.

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Quick and fast, you must keep pace.

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If you are too slow or lose faith, you
won't be able to win the race. So grab

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your clothes and pack your case.

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What?

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Faith.

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Okay, wait. Faith. Hey, man, that's you,
man.

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That's all you.

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That's all you. This is written for us.
We can do this. Yes, it is. But I want

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to do it as a team.

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Maybe we all have to switch clothes when
we're racing or something.

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Attention,

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erotic survivors.

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Okay. I know you're kind of anxious
about what is going to be the first

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competition to win the $20.

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Okay.

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It is a relay race in which one team
will get one dildo and

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another team will get another dildo.

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Okay. The rules are this. When you hand
the dildo to your teammate, you have to

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tell something about yourself
personally, like a personal tidbit about

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It could be sex. It could be the
weather. It has to be something about

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before the person could pick up the
dildo and go to his other teammate.

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Okay. And it has to be a complete
sentence. You can't say, let's say, if

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135 pounds, you can't say, 135 pounds,
you have to say, I weigh 135 pounds or

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whatever.

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So maybe you guys want to meet who's
gonna go first out of that what order

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you're gonna do so Two

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people

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on each side guys

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Complete sentence. I know you're already
experts on this, but a complete

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sentence. You're right. Try to keep a
straight face.

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Yeah.

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And the winner will win the John Bacchus
Tiki.

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All right!

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Okay, we are starting on this side.

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Who wants the first dildo?

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That's trouble.

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Hold the bait.

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We're starting on this side.

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Take the dildo.

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Christian. Christian, all the way, man.
Do you see the finish line?

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Ready? One, two, three, go!

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I like to lick apples!

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Three months old when I had my first
communion!

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I think we won fair and square. I was
like, I love tits, and I handed it to

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What was your line?

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My line was, I subscribe to Delia's
catalog.

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How did he finish that, dude?

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I went like this. I subscribe to Delia's
catalog.

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I went, I love tits.

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You know what? I just went out.

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He ran faster than you did.

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No, he didn't.

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Dude, I swear to God, I saw him behind
me. What race were you watching or

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participating in? Hey, you know what?
No, no, no. The Delmo race?

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We're going to kick your asses now.

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Congratulations, Hey Who Natty Tribe.

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You won the competition.

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Yes!

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The year is won!

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00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,690
The year is won!

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The other team, I can swear, that guy
was behind me about at least two steps.

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And I had a short line.

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And I'm like, okay, what happened?
Everybody looked confused on my team. I

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we won. I don't care what anybody says.

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00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:32,430
You know, they cheated.

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00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,530
That's what I think about it. You know,
I don't have the best back.

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00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:40,750
My team is not physically competitive,
to put it one way.

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And I was shocked.

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I was shocked, shocked, shocked. But I
knew the intent, you see. And I think

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intent is everything.

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And I think our intent is so focused
that I don't know if that's what drove

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and allowed us to win this game. But I
was personally, I was really surprised.

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00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,270
They weren't surprised, but I don't know
if I believed them.

200
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,020
My team was not focused.

201
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:05,540
You know, I'm focused.

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00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,040
They're not focused.

203
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:10,580
The problem is they're too preoccupied
with sex right now.

204
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,200
My team, everybody's really into it, you
know? The other team seems a little,

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like, selfish.

206
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:20,180
I mean, we put Jade in last because she
had the long legs and she's like, yeah,

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00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:20,939
I can run.

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00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,060
You know, we had it, man. Like, we were
winning.

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00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:27,240
And then I don't know what happened, you
know? She lost it for us.

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00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,840
What?

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00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,320
I slacked off?

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00:18:32,659 --> 00:18:33,659
Misty said this.

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00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:36,220
Okay.

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00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:41,940
Just like the clue said, have faith and
you'll win. I have faith, and I always

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00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,480
have had faith, so I knew I would win.

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00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,120
I'm just happy to be out of my hometown.

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This is fun for me. I mean, I get to
hang out with different people and get

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00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:56,460
have a lot of sex, and I don't really
care.

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And I'm going to take it.

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It begins to take.

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You know what I'm saying?

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00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,200
You know, we talked about it in the
beginning, and I tried to play it off

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00:19:05,260 --> 00:19:08,500
you know, it doesn't really matter, but
it matters to me.

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00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:12,420
Think how much that $20 will buy you
when you get back to Ohio. Yeah, it

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00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:17,040
be great, because then I could buy
myself a lot of beer, but then the

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gone, and you've got to go find another
$20.

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00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,600
I don't know. They're so preoccupied
with sex, and maybe that's what we have

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00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,880
do, have more sex so that they can then
focus on the game.

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00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,040
We're going to win the next one. I don't
care.

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00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,460
You know, I'm doing it for me. You know,
fuck my teammates.

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00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,060
What do you think about Darren Keane
walking around the island naked all the

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00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,060
time?

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00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:51,000
That's her path. She's chosen to follow
it.

234
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,120
But I think it's a little shameful.

235
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,200
No, I think it's cool that, you know,
she's still, like...

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00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:01,550
Open and comfortable with herself that
she can just walk around and she's not

237
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:04,750
embarrassed like most people would be
embarrassed But you know we're in the

238
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:09,990
middle of the woods. I mean wait no one
cares, and it's fun, and it's freeing

239
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:13,710
And you kind of I mean it's better than
wearing clothes. They're so

240
00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:18,130
uncomfortable anyway Why am I holding
naked because I love to be naked. I mean

241
00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:19,410
who needs clothes.

242
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:23,930
There's nobody out here. It's just us To
be here for three days

243
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,000
No, I can't stand the man. Who cares?

244
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:36,240
I don't want to be obnoxious or force my
beliefs down her throat and tell her

245
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,560
that she shouldn't be doing that. But I
have mentioned it to her a few times,

246
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:45,860
but it doesn't seem to help at all. So I
don't see the point of continuing with

247
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:46,860
that.

248
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:07,700
We were walking along this little track
to get to a little river.

249
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,220
There's got to be some fucking tapioca
on this island.

250
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,320
Help me. This looks like a tapioca tree.

251
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,880
You got it?

252
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,480
whoa all right you know what that's not
a tapioca yeah i don't think so it's

253
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,340
just too hard and uh she found some
tapioca you know and i'm like what's

254
00:21:29,340 --> 00:21:36,280
you know so she's like here taste it hey
oh my god it

255
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:41,460
is tapioca now here we are we're gonna
be feasting like queens and everybody up

256
00:21:41,460 --> 00:21:44,840
there is gonna be eating rats don't they
feel like losers they should have

257
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,900
listened to us yeah but what is tapioca
i really don't know

258
00:22:01,090 --> 00:22:02,270
That felt good.

259
00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:04,570
Let's try it again.

260
00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:08,710
She's like,

261
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:18,910
pushes at me and like a little bit like
falls off of my breath and she licks it

262
00:22:18,910 --> 00:22:19,910
and I'm like, ooh!

263
00:22:31,770 --> 00:22:35,290
started like smearing it all over her

264
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,300
hey hey hey

265
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:18,780
Hey.

266
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:20,780
Oh.

267
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,620
Hey. Oh.

268
00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:26,200
Oh.

269
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,820
Oh.

270
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:20,450
Hey.

271
00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:23,390
Hey.

272
00:25:23,950 --> 00:25:25,350
Hey.

273
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,840
Day two.

274
00:26:17,460 --> 00:26:20,820
The Heihunani tribe has won one contest
already.

275
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:26,300
That means the Punani tribe... is one
more contest to be voted off the island.

276
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,300
Spirits are low and food is scarce.

277
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,080
Come on, girl.

278
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,600
It's getting dark.

279
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,440
We've got to get this house dark.

280
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:36,680
Man,

281
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,360
this is going to be a great house.

282
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,680
Maybe I could cook some bugs.

283
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,180
We've got to find bugs to cook bugs.

284
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,320
The only thing I see is mosquitoes.

285
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,480
We've got...

286
00:26:49,940 --> 00:26:53,520
Four brains working here. We should be
able to figure out how to get some food.

287
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,620
I mean, this is the woods, right?
There's living things in here and people

288
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:01,740
living things, right? There's got to be
plants that we can eat. Yeah.

289
00:27:01,940 --> 00:27:02,859
Like what?

290
00:27:02,860 --> 00:27:03,860
Grass.

291
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,020
Hey, you guys need any more wood?

292
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,380
Not unless you want to build a second
story.

293
00:27:39,910 --> 00:27:42,870
Brunching and munching, it's great to
win.

294
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,430
Try not to get any on your chin.

295
00:27:45,810 --> 00:27:47,890
To find the prize deep within.

296
00:27:48,270 --> 00:27:50,870
You must find a way to break the tin.

297
00:27:53,650 --> 00:27:58,130
Oh, we're going to win this one. We are
going to win. Come on. Huddle, huddle.

298
00:27:58,290 --> 00:27:59,290
Ready?

299
00:27:59,490 --> 00:28:01,530
One, two, three, pussy!

300
00:28:02,510 --> 00:28:03,510
Ow!

301
00:28:04,310 --> 00:28:08,030
Spam. Spam. Spam. Yeah. There's a can of
Spam. Universal.

302
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:09,710
Universal can of Spam.

303
00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:12,430
Okay, Hoonanny Tribe, why don't you step
in here?

304
00:28:13,550 --> 00:28:14,550
Okay.

305
00:28:15,030 --> 00:28:18,810
So, Hoonanny Tribe, you lost the last
one, but you have a chance to redeem

306
00:28:18,810 --> 00:28:20,210
yourself. Competition is this.

307
00:28:20,910 --> 00:28:21,910
Tin cans.

308
00:28:21,970 --> 00:28:26,650
Using whatever you have to use on the
island to open them up. And the first

309
00:28:26,650 --> 00:28:27,850
to open up wins this round.

310
00:28:28,130 --> 00:28:29,230
Wait, hold on, man.

311
00:28:29,510 --> 00:28:31,170
There's no way to hold on, okay?

312
00:28:31,570 --> 00:28:33,330
You're a neurotic survivor, that's it?

313
00:28:33,530 --> 00:28:34,550
I'm neurotic?

314
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:35,960
And a neurotic survivor.

315
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:37,740
Okay, ready?

316
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,799
Survivors ready?

317
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,880
Yes. I'm going to count to three. When I
say three, grab the can.

318
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:48,460
Ready? One, two, three, go.

319
00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:52,260
No, no, not the can.

320
00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:54,140
Open,

321
00:28:55,780 --> 00:28:56,880
open, open.

322
00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,960
Okay,

323
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,440
hold on. Is that beer?

324
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,300
Drink that shit. Drink it.

325
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,500
Drink it. Drink it.

326
00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:09,780
Drink it.

327
00:29:10,420 --> 00:29:11,840
We fucking won.

328
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:12,699
I won.

329
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,420
That's all that matters. We won.

330
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,140
The Nanny Tribe has won this round.

331
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:21,080
We are tied. We have a tie game.

332
00:29:21,620 --> 00:29:27,440
The people who win the next competition
will be the team that goes on to the

333
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:28,440
final round.

334
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,480
Right. We drank it. We drank it.

335
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,070
Brunch. In the thing, it said lunch,
eating, ingesting.

336
00:29:36,610 --> 00:29:39,770
Open the can and drink it, I thought.
You can't make your own rules.

337
00:29:39,970 --> 00:29:43,450
You didn't do it the way I thought it
was supposed to be done.

338
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:47,830
And that's, that's why, that's, that's
what you're, you know something?

339
00:29:48,270 --> 00:29:50,790
Satan, open that can for me because I
asked him to.

340
00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:56,870
Satan. Satan would do anything for you
because Satan wants to take control of

341
00:29:56,870 --> 00:30:00,090
your soul. Get out of my face, I swear
to God. Get off my bitch. Get off my

342
00:30:00,090 --> 00:30:01,090
bitch.

343
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:11,080
Woman? Woman?

344
00:30:11,220 --> 00:30:12,220
Woman is okay.

345
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,620
Come on here. Come on. Come on. It's
okay.

346
00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:15,940
All right?

347
00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:17,580
Suckers!

348
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,080
Right on!

349
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:20,760
Oh, that's real scary.

350
00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,600
Oh, yeah. Oh,

351
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,240
baby, bring it on!

352
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,940
He's scared because he never saw one of
those before. I know.

353
00:30:28,860 --> 00:30:31,400
Yeah, that's what you're scared of. You
never see one of these, right?

354
00:30:32,660 --> 00:30:35,560
Take a good look. The last time you'll
ever see one, baby.

355
00:30:36,620 --> 00:30:37,820
You look a puppy.

356
00:30:38,580 --> 00:30:39,580
What's wrong with you?

357
00:30:40,970 --> 00:30:41,970
Oh, gosh. Oh, no.

358
00:30:42,130 --> 00:30:43,610
Wait. Don't call me a puppy.

359
00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:46,550
I can't bear to be called a young
animal.

360
00:30:47,450 --> 00:30:49,010
Well, let me rock you in your head now.

361
00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:50,870
Is that how you have to rock?

362
00:30:51,230 --> 00:30:54,930
I'll be like... Stay over there. Get
over there!

363
00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:57,290
I don't recall them wiping anything off
their chin.

364
00:30:57,490 --> 00:30:59,770
You know, yeah, and it wasn't even beer.
Not food, anyway.

365
00:31:00,030 --> 00:31:01,330
Not anything that was decent!

366
00:31:02,130 --> 00:31:03,510
Well, we lost.

367
00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:06,730
You want to know if it surprises me?

368
00:31:07,190 --> 00:31:08,530
Is that what you're asking me?

369
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:14,720
It does not surprise me, because
basically I am with a bunch of losers.

370
00:31:15,380 --> 00:31:21,600
And we're all in it together. I mean,
they might win, we might win, but we're

371
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:22,600
all winning.

372
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,340
So we're going to do it. We're going to
win, and we're going to say goodbye to

373
00:31:26,340 --> 00:31:30,000
those losers, especially those hippies.
I hate those hippies, man. They smell.

374
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:34,220
I think we owe that victory right there
to Esmeralda.

375
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,180
And as far as I'm concerned, she's...

376
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,000
She's my main lady now. She's my woman.

377
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,920
And I'm going to let her know later on
tonight.

378
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:51,220
Darian didn't think that she could win.
She was really negative,

379
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,160
you know. So I just took her behind a
tree, gave her a head, and then she was

380
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,860
ready to compete, you know.

381
00:31:56,260 --> 00:31:59,400
I know how you people cast these guys.

382
00:31:59,820 --> 00:32:06,660
I mean, breaking open a goddamn can and
I'm with three guys and we couldn't do

383
00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:13,020
it? We have goodness and virtue and

384
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:19,380
spirit on our side, and they have Satan

385
00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:23,740
and lust and desire on their side.

386
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,160
You just, you have to be shady.

387
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,380
That's what you got to do to win.

388
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,280
You lost the competition.

389
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,660
How do you feel about that? I mean, what
happened during the competition?

390
00:32:39,790 --> 00:32:46,590
When I'm told to look at a movie and cut
out the offensive scenes, this to me

391
00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:47,690
was just as offensive.

392
00:32:47,950 --> 00:32:50,590
This is unfairness.

393
00:32:50,790 --> 00:32:56,170
So in the next game, I don't know, I
think if I can somehow bring up the

394
00:32:56,170 --> 00:32:57,970
of my group, then we have a chance.

395
00:32:58,690 --> 00:33:00,910
I didn't lose.

396
00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:04,930
I didn't.

397
00:33:05,390 --> 00:33:08,270
They all bring me down in their own way.

398
00:33:08,940 --> 00:33:11,280
They all bring me down in their own way.

399
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:15,400
And yet I have to keep this facade, like
we're all together and be nice.

400
00:33:16,140 --> 00:33:21,860
And it's just, it just, it makes me want
to just give up before we start.

401
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:27,280
A bunch of little girls running around
with no clothes on and large egos. And

402
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:28,280
really, you know, just.

403
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,040
We're still going to win. I can feel it.
I just know it.

404
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:37,440
That, uh, that Jade, you know, she just,
you know, Darian's.

405
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:42,000
Nude gallivanting is nothing compared to
that woman's attitude.

406
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:47,080
I think the only reason these women won
is because they have practice opening

407
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:51,860
condom wrappers, which is very hard. So
you have to get, you know, your

408
00:33:51,860 --> 00:33:56,220
dexterity going. And maybe that's why
they win. You know, maybe that's that

409
00:33:56,220 --> 00:34:00,160
repeated action of, you know, being a
whore.

410
00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:03,360
I am definitely one to hold grudges on
people.

411
00:34:04,879 --> 00:34:09,920
I've already made some pretty firm
decisions about who I like on the island

412
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,420
who I want to see rot.

413
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,280
So what do you think you're going to be
able to do in the final round to win?

414
00:34:16,420 --> 00:34:20,520
Do you think being sober would be a good
thing?

415
00:34:21,260 --> 00:34:28,120
Why was it that we lost if it seemed so
goddamn clear that that was the point of

416
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,239
the whole contest?

417
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:33,320
Break it open and drink it. That's what
I said. Nobody corrected me.

418
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:37,320
Okay, you know, you had a real negative
attitude last time we interviewed. What

419
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,198
do you think now?

420
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:42,679
Well, it's not really a negative
attitude. It's great that we won. Like I

421
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:44,320
whatever.

422
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,500
I'm having a good time. That's all that
matters, right?

423
00:34:47,980 --> 00:34:51,600
Aren't you at least a bit excited now
that you won? Yeah, I'm really excited.

424
00:34:51,679 --> 00:34:56,100
That's great. But I want to get this
over with and go out to some woods or

425
00:34:56,100 --> 00:35:00,540
something. I only got another day or so
or whatever here or whatever it is.

426
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:01,800
I'm not here for very long.

427
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,440
I'm as much fun as I can. These people
are so off on their trips.

428
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:10,920
I mean, they're just, they're here to
have fun, and this is not about fun.

429
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:11,920
is not fun.

430
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:18,180
As a philosopher once said, you know,
don't put all your babies in a basket

431
00:35:18,180 --> 00:35:21,960
without knowing that you have them all
there first.

432
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:35,460
I don't know, it was kind of a weird
connection right from the start, you

433
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:36,520
We really bonded.

434
00:35:36,540 --> 00:35:41,160
And it was really cool to just kind of
sneak away from the other survivors, go

435
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,220
off into the woods and, like, mingle
around a little bit.

436
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,020
Kind of like a big secret.

437
00:35:46,340 --> 00:35:48,960
It felt like out of a movie or
something, you know.

438
00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:50,980
I'm so ticklish.

439
00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:55,820
Are you ticklish here?

440
00:35:56,140 --> 00:35:57,140
No. Here?

441
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:00,380
You like it.

442
00:36:11,180 --> 00:36:14,440
You know, we probably shouldn't tell
anybody about us.

443
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,000
You know, wandering around, just the two
of us.

444
00:36:18,220 --> 00:36:19,220
Why not?

445
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,280
Well, they might think something is
going on.

446
00:36:21,860 --> 00:36:25,920
Yeah, but we probably could take
advantage of it.

447
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:32,720
And maybe get some people off the island
if we stick together.

448
00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:34,860
Like in the line?

449
00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:36,500
Yeah.

450
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:38,980
Sounds like a good idea.

451
00:36:43,890 --> 00:36:46,870
Right now we should just play around.

452
00:36:47,190 --> 00:36:50,770
A little romance there, but it's all in
fun.

453
00:36:54,370 --> 00:36:57,690
Are you getting a little horny?

454
00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:00,650
Hey.

455
00:43:11,279 --> 00:43:13,620
Yeah, I hope that we stay in touch.

456
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:15,040
I really do.

457
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,360
She's really cool, and I've really
bonded with her.

458
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:20,260
But who knows? I mean, after the show.

459
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:36,880
This is it, ladies.

460
00:43:37,860 --> 00:43:39,040
Hold on.

461
00:43:43,100 --> 00:43:45,640
This time, you must use your brain.

462
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,320
Those that don't will lose the game.

463
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:51,120
Some may be offended and refrain.

464
00:43:51,940 --> 00:43:54,180
Those that do have nothing to gain.

465
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:59,260
I think it's something to do sexually.

466
00:43:59,780 --> 00:44:04,860
Yeah, it's something that's raunchy or
something. Yeah, because they, you know,

467
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:05,678
and refrain.

468
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,280
Some may be offended and refrain.

469
00:44:07,740 --> 00:44:09,420
Hey, hey, hoonanny tribe, come on over.

470
00:44:11,660 --> 00:44:14,300
All right, this is a competition using
your brain.

471
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:20,980
The team that wins this contest will go
to the next round. The team that loses

472
00:44:20,980 --> 00:44:25,020
will become judges to decide who will be
the final erotic survivor.

473
00:44:25,540 --> 00:44:30,480
Does everyone understand that? Yes.
Okay, so if you lose this round, this

474
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:31,520
you're off the island.

475
00:44:32,340 --> 00:44:37,400
You got a candy bar in there? Get away
from me. Okay, so we're going to do a

476
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,540
questionnaire, okay? Okay.

477
00:44:40,060 --> 00:44:43,620
Here's one pad for one team, one pad for
the punani team.

478
00:44:44,580 --> 00:44:49,940
One marker for the hehunani team, one
marker for the punani team. I'm going to

479
00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:52,780
ask 15 questions, all relating to sex.

480
00:44:53,460 --> 00:44:56,220
Okay? You will get a point for every
correct answer.

481
00:44:56,580 --> 00:45:01,420
Those with the most points will be the
winner of this competition.

482
00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:08,400
Okay. When I say, ready, erotic
survivors, to turn your sheet over, You

483
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,580
turn over at the same time when I say
so. Is this understood?

484
00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:13,540
Understood?

485
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:15,220
Very good.

486
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:16,960
First question.

487
00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:20,940
What is the average length of an erect
human penis?

488
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:22,238
They get six.

489
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:24,820
They get six. Five is considered small.

490
00:45:26,420 --> 00:45:27,760
Pinky. Five is Japanese.

491
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,560
Five is Japanese. That's it.

492
00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:30,900
Four is Chinese.

493
00:45:30,940 --> 00:45:33,140
Six is America. And the pinky is
trouble.

494
00:45:33,340 --> 00:45:34,340
What does that have to do with China?

495
00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:38,880
Six inches. I haven't had sex with a man
in a really long time. Well, I've seen

496
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:43,100
a lot of cock in my day. Me too. I'd
have to say it's six. All the cocks I've

497
00:45:43,100 --> 00:45:44,100
had were six inches.

498
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,660
Okay, the easiest way to do it, let's
get a representative from each tribe to

499
00:45:47,660 --> 00:45:49,440
come up and to flip over their answer.

500
00:45:50,020 --> 00:45:51,520
Okay, flip over your answers.

501
00:45:52,860 --> 00:45:54,420
Six. Six inches.

502
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:55,538
Six inches.

503
00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:56,540
You're both correct.

504
00:45:56,740 --> 00:46:00,360
One point to the Hehunani tribe, one
point to the Punani tribe.

505
00:46:00,780 --> 00:46:04,480
Please return to your tribes whilst I
ask the next question.

506
00:46:04,910 --> 00:46:09,270
What is the number one rated
subconscious way to attract the opposite

507
00:46:09,270 --> 00:46:13,730
I'm looking for an activity, like
something you would do to attract the

508
00:46:13,730 --> 00:46:15,430
sex. To attract.

509
00:46:15,830 --> 00:46:22,370
Attract, not abstract, because that
would be... Banani, please reveal your

510
00:46:22,370 --> 00:46:23,370
answer.

511
00:46:23,610 --> 00:46:25,690
Eye contact, no.

512
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:32,750
Also, eye contact, no. The correct
answer was whistling.

513
00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:38,098
These answers.

514
00:46:38,100 --> 00:46:42,880
You don't know anything about... You
obviously have never picked on anyone.

515
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:49,600
You just walk around going... You think
I came up with these answers? These are

516
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,540
scientific answers from the Internet.

517
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:59,280
Science is making up who never gets
laid. Okay, okay, okay. This should be

518
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,100
easy one, a true or false question. So
why don't you get it right, maybe get it

519
00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:05,220
both wrong. I don't know, but it'll be
easy for you.

520
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:06,720
True or false?

521
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:11,000
Hitler outlawed gay men, but not gay
women.

522
00:47:11,660 --> 00:47:12,840
True or false?

523
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:18,920
Okay,

524
00:47:21,980 --> 00:47:23,120
Punani, show your answer.

525
00:47:24,700 --> 00:47:29,140
True. And Punani gets a point.

526
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:37,460
Next question.

527
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:43,240
Since we're talking about Hitler,
besides Hitler and Napoleon conquering

528
00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:47,300
Europe, they had something else in
common. What common thing did they have

529
00:47:47,300 --> 00:47:48,300
the waist?

530
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,820
Okay, the Heihunani tribe. Show me your
answer.

531
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,820
Missing one testicle. And the Punani
tribe?

532
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:58,800
Impotence.

533
00:47:59,260 --> 00:48:00,260
Yes!

534
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:07,700
Question number seven. What is the
average length of an erect elephant

535
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:12,000
Three feet, because... Wait,

536
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:18,420
wait, wait. No, because that's three.
That's the Father, and the Lord, and the

537
00:48:18,420 --> 00:48:19,880
Holy Ghost, and the Spirit, and the
Spirit.

538
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:26,760
Okay, what is your answer?

539
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,280
Please turn it over.

540
00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:29,700
30 inches.

541
00:48:31,710 --> 00:48:35,210
And hey, Hunani, three feet.

542
00:48:35,790 --> 00:48:38,590
Guy should have been more generous. Six
feet.

543
00:48:38,930 --> 00:48:44,070
The elephant is a very well -endowed
creature. We're closer. We're closer to

544
00:48:44,070 --> 00:48:45,070
you. It doesn't matter.

545
00:48:45,370 --> 00:48:46,490
We're closer.

546
00:48:47,790 --> 00:48:48,609
It doesn't matter.

547
00:48:48,610 --> 00:48:53,010
Next question. In the United States,
Hawaii is the lowest age of sexual

548
00:48:53,410 --> 00:48:54,730
What is that age?

549
00:48:55,150 --> 00:48:56,170
That's what I was thinking.

550
00:48:56,410 --> 00:48:58,510
I lost my virginity when I was 13.

551
00:49:02,340 --> 00:49:03,340
Okay.

552
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,380
Hey, Hunani, please turn it over.

553
00:49:08,180 --> 00:49:09,320
14 years.

554
00:49:10,100 --> 00:49:15,140
Okay, and Hunani, very close, but hey,
Hunani, you get the point.

555
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:23,720
The term scumbag was used early in the
century to describe what?

556
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:30,340
Please show your answer.

557
00:49:32,140 --> 00:49:33,680
Douche. Panani.

558
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:37,060
A used condom. Very good. Panani gets
the point.

559
00:49:38,180 --> 00:49:41,060
I got it, girls.

560
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:42,440
Yeah. Awesome.

561
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:43,800
Thank your mom.

562
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:49,140
I'm more concerned about the fact that
you do that. You know what? They should

563
00:49:49,140 --> 00:49:53,280
know. They should know. You know a lot
about the stuff you do.

564
00:49:54,060 --> 00:49:57,820
If I win that $20, you would have wished
you were a slut.

565
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,640
We have a tied game, actually, three to
three, okay?

566
00:50:00,900 --> 00:50:02,320
This is a true or false question.

567
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:08,720
True or false, cats do not have sexually
transmitted diseases.

568
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,900
How do they do this? Because they have
clean vaginas.

569
00:50:13,900 --> 00:50:16,480
I like to have them like this. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.

570
00:50:16,900 --> 00:50:18,280
Everybody like this.

571
00:50:18,540 --> 00:50:19,439
Everybody true.

572
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:20,480
Yeah, true.

573
00:50:21,860 --> 00:50:22,860
It's time.

574
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:26,740
Okay, once again, the question, true or
false, cats do not have...

575
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,480
Sexually transmitted disease.

576
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:30,140
Turn it over.

577
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:31,640
False.

578
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:33,920
False.

579
00:50:34,860 --> 00:50:36,100
It is false.

580
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,200
They carry feline herpes.

581
00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:43,000
Point to both teams. What is genophobia?

582
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,960
Genophobia. Fear of Gentiles.

583
00:50:48,940 --> 00:50:52,620
Okay. Panani, turn your answer over.

584
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,080
Fear of orgasm.

585
00:50:57,980 --> 00:50:59,020
Fear of genitals.

586
00:50:59,960 --> 00:51:02,760
I'm going to give you both a point
because the true answer is fear of sex.

587
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:06,980
Okay, next question.

588
00:51:07,220 --> 00:51:09,740
The condom was originally made of what
material?

589
00:51:10,620 --> 00:51:11,620
Sheep intestines.

590
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,680
The animal byproduct, it's got to be
more specific.

591
00:51:25,900 --> 00:51:27,740
Intestines is right there. Sheep
intestines.

592
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,820
All right.

593
00:51:31,580 --> 00:51:32,580
We have it.

594
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:36,020
It's got to be sheep. It's got to be
specific.

595
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:37,660
But they weren't specific.

596
00:51:40,820 --> 00:51:41,820
Specific.

597
00:51:42,420 --> 00:51:47,140
Specific on the last question you got to
answer, right? So did you. So, sorry.

598
00:51:47,340 --> 00:51:48,820
Sorry. I told you. Sorry.

599
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,880
Lard is an animal byproduct.

600
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,600
No, I love a snappy comeback.

601
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:56,520
Okay, true or false question?

602
00:51:57,780 --> 00:52:02,620
True or false? A sex change has never
been performed in Ireland.

603
00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:06,440
Okay. Hey, Hunani, please flip over your
answer.

604
00:52:07,180 --> 00:52:08,700
True, that is correct.

605
00:52:09,100 --> 00:52:10,100
Hunani, please.

606
00:52:10,380 --> 00:52:11,840
Wait, wait, wait, did not see.

607
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,540
I assume it was false.

608
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:15,800
Yeah.

609
00:52:16,720 --> 00:52:17,720
I'm sorry.

610
00:52:24,500 --> 00:52:31,300
Well, okay, according to this, the
Hehunani has one, two, three, four,

611
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:37,020
six, seven points. And the Punani tribe
has one, two, three, four points. The

612
00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:42,760
Hehunani... Punani tribe, please stand
up and be...

613
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:48,020
Okay,

614
00:52:50,020 --> 00:52:51,480
I'm sorry, Punani, you lost.

615
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,740
But we will see you later as the jury in
the final rounds.

616
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:57,598
Take care.

617
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:58,600
Bye -bye.

618
00:53:00,740 --> 00:53:07,140
Some of the questions were unfair, like
the

619
00:53:07,140 --> 00:53:09,560
questions about Hitler. We don't know
those answers.

620
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:14,480
But we know the ones about cock, how
long those are, and things like that.

621
00:53:15,720 --> 00:53:16,720
Well,

622
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:21,360
you know, I'm really just upset since
the beginning.

623
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,100
The 20 was not the issue.

624
00:53:25,060 --> 00:53:27,440
And if I ever pretended to care, it was
just an act.

625
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,600
I acted a lot. I pretended.

626
00:53:31,740 --> 00:53:33,000
Pretended a lot of different things.

627
00:53:34,340 --> 00:53:35,360
What are you going to do now?

628
00:53:37,180 --> 00:53:42,140
Well, I'm just going to go home and have
an orgy.

629
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:44,600
That's my price for losing.

630
00:53:46,180 --> 00:53:48,140
So many of the questions, we were this
close.

631
00:53:48,740 --> 00:53:50,640
That's why I think it was unfair, you
know?

632
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:52,400
Making us look stupid.

633
00:53:52,780 --> 00:53:56,640
Like we're just these girls who like to
have sex like we don't have brains. But

634
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:57,640
we have brains.

635
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,920
My chances are good, I think.

636
00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:08,500
Unless some of the, you know, cranial
impaired

637
00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:13,380
be fit to vote me off. I can't really do
anything about that. I wouldn't be

638
00:54:13,380 --> 00:54:18,260
surprised if that was the case.
Obviously, they're not too happy with my

639
00:54:18,260 --> 00:54:19,260
little...

640
00:54:20,020 --> 00:54:24,280
A little bit more cultured than they
are, if that's the word.

641
00:54:25,220 --> 00:54:26,320
Damn, I hate Christians.

642
00:54:28,660 --> 00:54:29,700
That one in particular.

643
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,920
What are you going to do when you get on
the council? Are you going to be very

644
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,340
vindictive? Oh, yeah, you betcha.

645
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,920
It seemed like you didn't even care
about the last round.

646
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:43,000
Oh, I didn't. I just didn't care at all.
I just didn't want to lose because I

647
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,460
wanted to be able to hang out with the
girls and stuff. They were a real big

648
00:54:45,460 --> 00:54:46,460
fan.

649
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:51,020
And so now I've got to go back home and
do the same thing I do here, sit around

650
00:54:51,020 --> 00:54:53,220
and do nothing, have nothing.

651
00:54:53,900 --> 00:54:57,760
The main problem is that my flask is
only half empty, and it used to be half

652
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:58,760
full.

653
00:54:59,340 --> 00:55:00,340
I ate a lot of pussy.

654
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:02,080
I had mine eaten, too.

655
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:03,800
So it was worth it.

656
00:55:04,860 --> 00:55:06,120
It was a lot of fun.

657
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,660
Had some really good times, you know.

658
00:55:09,700 --> 00:55:11,620
And had really good sex.

659
00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:14,900
Really good sex. So I guess that made it
all worthwhile.

660
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:20,760
We won, and, you know, I'm really
excited about that because the guys are

661
00:55:21,180 --> 00:55:25,740
I mean, these guys are the best guys. I
can't even tell you how happy I am that,

662
00:55:25,780 --> 00:55:29,520
you know, these are the guys on my team.
They're smart. They're good. They're

663
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,740
good. I'm excited. They're great guys.

664
00:55:39,380 --> 00:55:41,160
So what are we going to do for dinner?

665
00:55:43,020 --> 00:55:44,020
Let's eat out.

666
00:55:46,620 --> 00:55:48,000
Whoa, there goes the food.

667
00:55:48,220 --> 00:55:49,820
Whoa. Got him.

668
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:51,880
All right. All right.

669
00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:53,240
Good one.

670
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:05,520
How do you eat gorilla?

671
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:07,320
I don't know. Medium.

672
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:09,220
Medium. Medium. Well, I don't know.

673
00:56:09,420 --> 00:56:10,960
What the hell is evolution?

674
00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:13,620
It's good, though.

675
00:56:30,730 --> 00:56:31,730
I can't make it far.

676
00:56:36,250 --> 00:56:39,330
Laugh day, day three, erotic survivor.

677
00:56:39,690 --> 00:56:43,430
The Punani tribe has been voted off, yet
stays on the island for gratuitous

678
00:56:43,430 --> 00:56:49,350
orgies. Meanwhile, the Hehunani tribe
has to decide who will be the ultimate

679
00:56:49,350 --> 00:56:50,350
erotic survivor.

680
00:56:53,330 --> 00:56:54,790
Oh, wow, look.

681
00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:57,170
What? Volcanic mud.

682
00:56:57,810 --> 00:56:58,950
Makes it warm.

683
00:57:00,060 --> 00:57:02,120
I heard it's great for your skin.

684
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:08,140
Oh, well, um, earlier today the girls
and I were walking around the island and

685
00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:14,580
we found a big pile of mud and we all
proceeded to jump in and go at it and,

686
00:57:14,580 --> 00:57:17,260
know, at first I just thought maybe it
would be real good for my skin.

687
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,020
It's really good for the skin, you know.
It reminds me.

688
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,940
I have some bug bites on my ass.

689
00:57:23,260 --> 00:57:25,300
Ooh, let's put some mud on it. Let's
smear some.

690
00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:27,100
Ooh, look.

691
00:57:27,740 --> 00:57:29,860
Woo! Oh, yeah.

692
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,160
Oh, this

693
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:37,660
feels great.

694
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,700
I still make my pies.

695
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,680
I only make pussy pies now.

696
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,580
You want to see how to do it? It's so
cool. Check this out.

697
00:58:23,260 --> 00:58:24,260
Oh,

698
00:58:28,540 --> 00:58:32,440
see, now you're doing it. That's the way
to make the pussy pie.

699
00:58:35,700 --> 00:58:37,140
Oh my goodness.

700
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:07,600
go

701
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,000
Yeah.

702
01:02:23,799 --> 01:02:27,680
Yeah, we all went to town and had a good
time.

703
01:02:29,820 --> 01:02:34,140
But I think we should all vote for
Christian. I don't think you should vote

704
01:02:34,140 --> 01:02:36,760
me. Okay, we're all going to vote for
Christian. Including you?

705
01:02:37,020 --> 01:02:39,120
I'm going to vote for Christian. You're
going to vote for Christian.

706
01:02:39,340 --> 01:02:41,980
You're going to vote for Christian. It's
like we're all like blades of grass and

707
01:02:41,980 --> 01:02:42,980
he's the tree.

708
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,460
And he has a nice level of censorship.

709
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:46,960
Exactly.

710
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:48,920
He's spiritual.

711
01:02:49,370 --> 01:02:53,650
You guys like that? Exactly. He's
censoring. Exactly. I like that. And

712
01:02:53,650 --> 01:02:57,490
-judgmental. Non -judgmental. Only
towards the girls, but fuck them.

713
01:02:58,010 --> 01:02:59,330
Christian, listen.

714
01:02:59,770 --> 01:03:03,150
We're still on the plan that you have to
win. Okay.

715
01:03:03,550 --> 01:03:07,830
Well, what's happening with the Hey Who
Nanny tribe now is we've had a vote

716
01:03:07,830 --> 01:03:11,950
amongst the four of us, my teammates and
I, and we've decided it would be best

717
01:03:11,950 --> 01:03:17,170
for everyone involved, seeing as though
I am morally and intellectually the...

718
01:03:17,660 --> 01:03:22,580
most superior person in the group, if I
were to win the next challenge. And when

719
01:03:22,580 --> 01:03:26,100
that happens, we're going to split the
$20 four ways.

720
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:27,320
I'm going to get eight.

721
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:30,540
My teammates are each going to get four
each.

722
01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:34,600
You know, we might switch the math
around a little bit. Maybe it will go 10

723
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:36,680
me and 333 to each of them.

724
01:03:39,980 --> 01:03:40,980
Now hide.

725
01:03:44,020 --> 01:03:45,020
Once again.

726
01:03:46,670 --> 01:03:52,930
Yeah, right our blessed mother Ready To

727
01:03:52,930 --> 01:03:59,770
be the best you must beat the rest
Stamina will be your undoing in this

728
01:03:59,770 --> 01:04:06,330
you fail or lose your breath You will
not be able to win the contest wait. I

729
01:04:06,330 --> 01:04:12,030
mean we're having okay Hold your breath
hold your breath. What do you do when

730
01:04:12,030 --> 01:04:13,030
you hold your breath?

731
01:04:13,770 --> 01:04:17,160
You go under water Water! Water!

732
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,920
Everybody to the water! Run! Run! Go!

733
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:21,240
Go!

734
01:04:38,410 --> 01:04:43,150
Okay, contestants, I'm glad you jumped
into the pond, but the next contest has

735
01:04:43,150 --> 01:04:44,550
absolutely nothing to do with water.

736
01:04:44,770 --> 01:04:45,930
Oh, man.

737
01:04:46,770 --> 01:04:47,669
It's okay.

738
01:04:47,670 --> 01:04:48,670
It's okay.

739
01:04:49,530 --> 01:04:50,530
Okay,

740
01:04:51,790 --> 01:04:52,790
we're ready for the test.

741
01:04:53,130 --> 01:04:56,230
But wait a minute here, okay?

742
01:04:56,890 --> 01:04:58,970
Are we getting tested or are we testing?

743
01:04:59,170 --> 01:05:04,130
Whose idea was it to jump in the water?
Who cares?

744
01:05:05,230 --> 01:05:09,310
All right, survivors, I know you're wet,
you're tired, and a lot of that's your

745
01:05:09,310 --> 01:05:12,210
problem because you jumped in the lake,
but hey, whatever. This is the stamina

746
01:05:12,210 --> 01:05:14,210
challenge.

747
01:05:14,970 --> 01:05:20,050
And the winner of this will win
immunity, which means on tonight's vote,

748
01:05:20,050 --> 01:05:23,870
you four people will have to vote for
one person off the island. Now, the

749
01:05:23,870 --> 01:05:27,890
are you can't vote for yourself, but you
have to vote for someone else to be

750
01:05:27,890 --> 01:05:31,370
voted off. Off the island. Off the
island. Okay. Okay, and that person

751
01:05:31,370 --> 01:05:33,810
voted off will also join the other fine
ladies.

752
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:36,900
and the council to pick the final erotic
survivor.

753
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:42,120
Okay. Okay, so whoever wins this cannot
be eliminated tonight.

754
01:05:42,420 --> 01:05:44,780
Okay. This is the test.

755
01:05:45,100 --> 01:05:46,740
It is an issue of stamina.

756
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:53,860
Whoever can stay in this position for
the longest amount of time will win this

757
01:05:53,860 --> 01:05:54,860
survivor challenge.

758
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:58,120
Ready, erotic survivors, and begin.

759
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:16,900
At the end of this, the prize is no
longer $20.

760
01:06:18,260 --> 01:06:23,680
It's $100 to whoever wins the erotic
survivor game.

761
01:06:25,460 --> 01:06:31,480
$100 to whoever wins the final erotic
survivor.

762
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:36,660
No one's down yet? Every breath is a
triumph. No one's down yet. Okay,

763
01:06:36,660 --> 01:06:38,940
focus. Every breath is a triumph.

764
01:06:39,540 --> 01:06:41,460
Get to the nose, out of the mouth, and
from nothing.

765
01:06:44,700 --> 01:06:49,220
All I have to do is think about all the
seedy scenes, and that gives me the

766
01:06:49,220 --> 01:06:50,340
anger to go on.

767
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:55,340
Man, you think they are seedy, man, but
we, we are seedy. All I have to think

768
01:06:55,340 --> 01:06:57,500
about is Darian running around naked.

769
01:07:02,830 --> 01:07:06,270
And all I have to think about is how
somebody talked me into just jumping in

770
01:07:06,270 --> 01:07:09,450
lake, because they thought that that's
what's holding your breath. Oh, right

771
01:07:09,930 --> 01:07:11,250
Hey, guys. Is everybody here?

772
01:07:11,470 --> 01:07:13,190
Yes, yes. Personal speech.

773
01:07:14,050 --> 01:07:17,750
Personal speech? Right on. All I'm going
to say is one thing.

774
01:07:17,990 --> 01:07:18,990
Yes.

775
01:07:19,090 --> 01:07:20,090
Remember the plan.

776
01:07:20,470 --> 01:07:26,390
Thank you. Hey, you just fell down, and
we are stuck here, the fifth.

777
01:07:26,730 --> 01:07:28,670
You can't vote for yourself.

778
01:07:29,210 --> 01:07:30,210
Right on.

779
01:07:31,690 --> 01:07:34,930
You can save your brother some pain.
Ward, Ward.

780
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:40,310
You are a badass motherfucker.

781
01:07:43,370 --> 01:07:46,810
Ward, thinking about that hundred
dollars?

782
01:07:47,270 --> 01:07:49,850
Journalism. Journalism. Yeah.

783
01:07:50,770 --> 01:07:51,930
Journalism and whiskey.

784
01:07:52,690 --> 01:07:53,850
More whiskey.

785
01:07:58,310 --> 01:07:59,570
Think you can last?

786
01:08:01,290 --> 01:08:02,570
Maybe I'll up the stakes.

787
01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:05,390
Up the stakes, I am.

788
01:08:05,690 --> 01:08:07,450
Let's up the stakes. Slow breaths,
ready?

789
01:08:09,610 --> 01:08:11,470
Please give me one more rock.

790
01:08:12,310 --> 01:08:14,910
It's a hot rock forever if they ask.

791
01:08:15,470 --> 01:08:16,810
Okay. No.

792
01:08:18,430 --> 01:08:20,910
Christian is out. He needs one more.

793
01:08:21,510 --> 01:08:23,850
We did it for Mary's gift of censorship.

794
01:08:24,569 --> 01:08:25,569
Censorship.

795
01:08:26,990 --> 01:08:29,090
That's right. Okay, put it on.

796
01:08:33,290 --> 01:08:36,850
The sun is burning my fragile flesh.

797
01:08:44,770 --> 01:08:49,830
It's not the rocks pushing down on our
stomachs. It's us pushing up. On the

798
01:08:49,830 --> 01:08:50,830
rocks.

799
01:08:51,130 --> 01:08:55,630
They try to hold us down, but we're
holding them up.

800
01:08:56,050 --> 01:09:00,430
Let me have two ladies of the Panani
tribe come over here.

801
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:05,500
Let me get Misty and Jade.

802
01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:11,260
Okay, ladies, I want you to torture
these people as much as you can without

803
01:09:11,260 --> 01:09:12,260
hurting them.

804
01:09:12,660 --> 01:09:17,500
It's verbal abuse and everything else.

805
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:18,720
Switch people. Switch people.

806
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:20,520
No,

807
01:09:21,300 --> 01:09:22,300
no, no, that's perfect.

808
01:09:23,700 --> 01:09:26,840
Which one do you think that one? Jade, I
want you.

809
01:09:27,180 --> 01:09:29,200
Okay. What do we do?

810
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:30,899
Torture them as much as you can.

811
01:09:31,279 --> 01:09:33,779
Can they touch them? Can we touch them?

812
01:09:34,279 --> 01:09:35,979
Yes, you can tickle them, you can do
whatever.

813
01:09:39,710 --> 01:09:42,930
All right. That's not a real thing. Let
me show you guys how to tickle someone

814
01:09:42,930 --> 01:09:43,930
properly.

815
01:09:44,330 --> 01:09:45,609
That's not fair to do one.

816
01:09:45,810 --> 01:09:48,770
That's not fair to do one. That feels
really good. Okay, ready? That feels

817
01:09:48,770 --> 01:09:54,130
really good. And tickle. Oh, God, it
feels so good. I have yet to come.

818
01:09:55,750 --> 01:09:56,750
Ready?

819
01:09:56,850 --> 01:10:02,610
Oh, please, please. Lower, lower, lower.
You think that I will submit, but I

820
01:10:02,610 --> 01:10:03,830
have yet to do that.

821
01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:07,570
Jeff, Jeff, keep an eye on his butt.
Yeah, my butt is really hot. And I am

822
01:10:07,570 --> 01:10:08,570
for. Come on.

823
01:10:20,650 --> 01:10:27,430
put your butt up higher higher okay the
first person butt hits these rocks

824
01:10:27,430 --> 01:10:31,690
we'll lose this game all right joe's got
more rocks on him

825
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,200
will come off. But his rocks will stay
on.

826
01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:45,120
I think I saw something.

827
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,700
Yeah, he touched it. Game over.

828
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,000
Joe wins.

829
01:10:48,420 --> 01:10:49,420
No fair.

830
01:10:50,840 --> 01:10:51,840
Congratulations.

831
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:53,360
Woo!

832
01:10:54,100 --> 01:10:55,100
Congratulations,

833
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,640
Bernie Lombardo. You have won the
immunity necklace.

834
01:11:02,900 --> 01:11:05,820
Tonight, you are free from banishment.

835
01:11:06,490 --> 01:11:13,390
As for our other three contestants, one
of you will be voted off tonight.

836
01:11:13,910 --> 01:11:17,870
And we'll join the council for the
final. Right on.

837
01:11:18,150 --> 01:11:20,430
Right on. Bar out.

838
01:11:20,710 --> 01:11:22,530
We'll see. We'll see what happens.

839
01:11:22,930 --> 01:11:24,170
Dig it. And you dig it.

840
01:11:26,490 --> 01:11:27,830
Ooh, we'll see.

841
01:11:28,810 --> 01:11:33,950
The plan was that Ward and Christian
were to last.

842
01:11:34,170 --> 01:11:35,430
But now that it's Bernie.

843
01:11:36,190 --> 01:11:40,610
then he just messes the whole thing up.
You producers suck, you know? And, like,

844
01:11:40,650 --> 01:11:44,350
this TV show sucks, and these people
that are watching it suck.

845
01:11:44,590 --> 01:11:49,270
So what we decided to do is take the
most weirdo on the island, and we're

846
01:11:49,270 --> 01:11:53,270
conspiring to get him to win. So we're
going to vote against everybody and kick

847
01:11:53,270 --> 01:11:58,970
everybody off, and Bernie's going to
win, man. I am not voting somebody off.

848
01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:01,870
They are voting somebody off.

849
01:12:02,610 --> 01:12:05,350
He's a drunken drug...

850
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:12,180
riddled punk, and I can't believe he did
it, but I can only chalk it up to his

851
01:12:12,180 --> 01:12:16,920
stupidity. So everybody's going to vote
you on the island. We're going to vote

852
01:12:16,920 --> 01:12:19,100
me off the island. We're going to vote
everybody else, all right? So you're

853
01:12:19,100 --> 01:12:22,000
going to make sure you're going to vote
Christian off the island, man.

854
01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:23,360
Yeah, we told you.

855
01:12:23,460 --> 01:12:28,120
Okay, yes, I remember, yeah. I think we
should vote Christian off and let

856
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:31,580
Bernie win.

857
01:12:32,540 --> 01:12:36,200
Just because... It would be so
difficult. See, I don't have a problem

858
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:37,300
I just want to know why.

859
01:12:37,820 --> 01:12:41,440
Because he's the most troubled
individual on the island.

860
01:12:42,140 --> 01:12:48,860
Ward and I have come to a sub -agreement
where we're actually going to turn

861
01:12:48,860 --> 01:12:51,760
on Christian and vote against him.

862
01:12:52,060 --> 01:12:57,020
And I believe Bernie is in on it because
Ward and Bernie, it's the same, might

863
01:12:57,020 --> 01:12:58,900
as well be the same thing, same person.

864
01:12:59,100 --> 01:13:00,260
I have some bad news.

865
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,120
What? You know Ward.

866
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:08,880
Yeah. He's going to both Bernie and
myself, and he's trying to talk us into

867
01:13:08,880 --> 01:13:12,900
voting you off when you were the guy
that was supposed to be the winner.

868
01:13:12,900 --> 01:13:16,360
that way you and I know who's going to
win. We're still doing the split, the 20

869
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:17,360
-20 -20 -40.

870
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:18,860
Totally, whatever you want. So that's
good.

871
01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:21,780
Bernie doesn't care about money.

872
01:13:22,100 --> 01:13:26,100
We split the money so it won't matter
who wins, really.

873
01:13:26,340 --> 01:13:27,340
Right.

874
01:13:27,690 --> 01:13:32,570
We fuck them. We don't give them the 20
each. Because remember, we promised each

875
01:13:32,570 --> 01:13:36,250
other that we would all get 20 and the
winner would get 40. Right.

876
01:13:36,970 --> 01:13:37,970
Not happening.

877
01:13:38,650 --> 01:13:39,650
That's over.

878
01:13:39,690 --> 01:13:41,150
They just buy booze with it anyway.

879
01:13:41,450 --> 01:13:45,850
Exactly. And, you know, it's me and
Mary, you know.

880
01:13:46,430 --> 01:13:48,630
We know that we got to get Christian off
this island.

881
01:13:49,270 --> 01:13:53,610
Because as much as we fund to vote on
Christian.

882
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:57,500
Because he's like the most horrible,
hypocritical creature on the island. We

883
01:13:57,500 --> 01:14:00,920
feel that you are the embodiment of our
team. I'm glad to hear you say that.

884
01:14:01,140 --> 01:14:01,879
Of course.

885
01:14:01,880 --> 01:14:04,620
Okay. And you're not going to let us
down, right?

886
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:07,940
Absolutely not. You're going to be the
best leader there, right? Absolutely.

887
01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:09,520
And we're all going out to dinner,
right?

888
01:14:09,940 --> 01:14:13,260
Absolutely. And you're still going to
donate $20 to the church, right? Yes, I

889
01:14:13,260 --> 01:14:17,820
am. All right. I believe I need to get
rid of Ward.

890
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:21,980
So I have gone back to Christian and I
have told him.

891
01:14:22,540 --> 01:14:25,080
What Ward has suggested behind his back.

892
01:14:25,500 --> 01:14:31,800
Uh, I'm real

893
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:32,800
tired.

894
01:14:33,620 --> 01:14:39,240
The girls on the other team have been
looking at Ward, and I'm afraid that if

895
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:44,420
Ward gets to the end, that the girls
will vote him the winner.

896
01:14:44,640 --> 01:14:47,600
We have to convert them to our
standards.

897
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:49,200
We have to get them to vote.

898
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:56,040
Bernie and Mary and myself off the
island so that we can win.

899
01:14:57,440 --> 01:15:00,520
Me and you have to get rid of war.

900
01:15:01,320 --> 01:15:03,580
Okay? Do you have a problem with that?

901
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:08,000
Do you think I have a problem with that?
No, I don't. I figure between me and

902
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:10,740
Christian, they're not going to want the
religious guy.

903
01:15:11,520 --> 01:15:14,400
They're going to have to go for girl
power. They're going to have to vote for

904
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:19,820
me. How do you suggest we do that
without being really, really

905
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,660
We'll have another drink. We'll think
about that.

906
01:15:22,880 --> 01:15:23,880
Okay, all right.

907
01:15:24,060 --> 01:15:25,060
Sounds like a good idea.

908
01:15:25,940 --> 01:15:31,900
You just keep thinking, and I'll keep
thinking, and I'm sure everything will

909
01:15:31,900 --> 01:15:32,900
work out.

910
01:15:36,460 --> 01:15:40,060
It's okay, man. If you've got to get
sick, you can just do it on the floor.

911
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:41,680
All right.

912
01:15:42,940 --> 01:15:47,000
You can't look like we're conspiring, so
I may not even talk to you.

913
01:15:47,380 --> 01:15:48,159
Well, that's okay.

914
01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,820
Okay. I don't like you anymore.

915
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:51,280
Okay. But remember.

916
01:15:52,260 --> 01:15:53,260
You too.

917
01:15:53,660 --> 01:15:55,820
So you get 60 bucks. All right? Okay.

918
01:15:56,260 --> 01:15:59,360
We'll all go out to dinner. I'll give
you all the money at dinner. Okay. All

919
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:00,360
right? I trust you.

920
01:16:01,340 --> 01:16:03,100
The Lord is on my side.

921
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:05,280
Ooh.

922
01:16:05,700 --> 01:16:07,400
What beautiful toes.

923
01:16:08,860 --> 01:16:10,260
Oh, my God.

924
01:16:11,130 --> 01:16:16,650
I'm getting a really good view from
here. Oh, look at that cute little

925
01:16:17,870 --> 01:16:19,850
Do you ticklish?

926
01:16:20,130 --> 01:16:21,130
Oh, no.

927
01:16:21,730 --> 01:16:25,170
You gotta be ticklish. Oh, no, that
feels so good.

928
01:16:26,470 --> 01:16:27,690
She's really on her.

929
01:16:27,930 --> 01:16:29,030
Oh, yes.

930
01:16:29,450 --> 01:16:30,450
From behind.

931
01:16:30,770 --> 01:16:33,910
Oh, God, just like that. All right, I
got her. Oh,

932
01:16:36,810 --> 01:16:37,810
my God.

933
01:16:45,220 --> 01:16:50,460
You're getting warmer girls keep on
going

934
01:17:26,599 --> 01:17:28,260
Can't do anything decent

935
01:17:38,180 --> 01:17:41,300
We should just get right there. Yeah,
just fucking take it off already.

936
01:18:40,679 --> 01:18:42,240
Taste test now, girl.

937
01:19:39,920 --> 01:19:40,920
in your house

938
01:20:45,330 --> 01:20:46,730
Oh.

939
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:08,060
Okay, this is it. This is the final
vote.

940
01:22:08,660 --> 01:22:11,940
Okay, this is your council right here,
members of the Panani tribe.

941
01:22:12,280 --> 01:22:16,300
Whoever gets voted off here on the Hey
Hoonani tribe will join the jury.

942
01:22:16,880 --> 01:22:17,880
You guys ready?

943
01:22:18,340 --> 01:22:19,340
Okay.

944
01:22:19,620 --> 01:22:21,440
Let's take it one by one. Let's go.

945
01:22:23,300 --> 01:22:24,440
This is one going off.

946
01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:27,440
Because in the ancient tongue, he's a
schmuck.

947
01:22:27,840 --> 01:22:30,820
You know, I'm voting Christian off
because he's, you know, right on and

948
01:22:30,820 --> 01:22:33,360
we don't want him to suffer on this
island.

949
01:22:35,150 --> 01:22:36,150
It's nothing personal.

950
01:22:36,510 --> 01:22:42,290
It's just, I think you were wrong in
changing the plan, and the original plan

951
01:22:42,290 --> 01:22:45,790
was that Christian would win, and you
went behind his back, and I think that's

952
01:22:45,790 --> 01:22:48,910
wrong, and that's the reason I'm voting
you up.

953
01:22:49,490 --> 01:22:50,490
Okay.

954
01:22:51,230 --> 01:22:58,170
This person, his name was told to me by
the stars and the

955
01:22:58,170 --> 01:23:03,210
moon, and that's all there really is to
it, but...

956
01:23:03,720 --> 01:23:04,720
I'm sorry.

957
01:23:05,280 --> 01:23:09,920
I'm not doing this for any reason but
what they tell me.

958
01:23:11,620 --> 01:23:14,000
Okay, we have the final vote.

959
01:23:15,900 --> 01:23:17,400
One vote for Christian.

960
01:23:21,620 --> 01:23:23,700
One vote for Ward.

961
01:23:30,140 --> 01:23:31,580
Another vote for Ward.

962
01:23:32,810 --> 01:23:33,930
2 -1 Ward.

963
01:23:35,590 --> 01:23:40,410
The final and determining... Christian.

964
01:23:41,530 --> 01:23:42,650
We have a tie vote.

965
01:23:43,370 --> 01:23:47,010
In the ancient times, men used to solve
their problems with a stick.

966
01:23:47,630 --> 01:23:49,670
Well, we are going to use a pogo stick.

967
01:23:50,290 --> 01:23:53,810
The erotic survivor who can stay on the
pogo stick for the longest amount of

968
01:23:53,810 --> 01:23:55,710
time will win the challenge.

969
01:23:56,450 --> 01:23:58,450
And the loser will join our jury.

970
01:23:59,650 --> 01:24:00,650
Gentlemen...

971
01:24:02,410 --> 01:24:03,410
Right.

972
01:24:03,710 --> 01:24:05,310
Okay, Ward, ready?

973
01:24:05,630 --> 01:24:10,850
I'm going to count how many you could
bounce, or I'm going to count 1 ,000.

974
01:24:10,870 --> 01:24:14,410
Okay, I'm going to do both. Ready?
Ready. And go.

975
01:24:16,130 --> 01:24:19,090
One, two, three. Very good. Good job.

976
01:24:19,690 --> 01:24:20,690
Good job, Ward.

977
01:24:21,370 --> 01:24:22,370
Christian.

978
01:24:31,120 --> 01:24:32,800
He thinks you're going to bounce. Three
is the record.

979
01:24:33,460 --> 01:24:35,140
Three is the record, Christian.

980
01:24:35,540 --> 01:24:36,540
Ready?

981
01:24:38,420 --> 01:24:39,420
Okay,

982
01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:43,740
Christian, Lord with you. Come on,
Christian.

983
01:24:44,860 --> 01:24:45,860
All right, Christian.

984
01:24:46,300 --> 01:24:47,740
Go, go, get that!

985
01:24:50,120 --> 01:24:52,940
Christian, thanks for being a very good
sport.

986
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,820
No problem. It was very nice having you
as a projection.

987
01:24:56,420 --> 01:24:57,420
Yeah!

988
01:24:57,880 --> 01:24:59,000
Good deal.

989
01:25:01,720 --> 01:25:04,900
Yeah, man! Christian, thank you.

990
01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:07,560
You're welcome. Please join the Panani
tribe. No problem.

991
01:25:07,880 --> 01:25:10,300
To vote off the final erotic survivor.

992
01:25:11,140 --> 01:25:15,000
You three are the last contestants, and
we're going to whittle this down to two.

993
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:20,540
The winner of this match will vote right
here and now who will leave the island.

994
01:25:21,260 --> 01:25:26,540
Because you can't vote for yourself, and
these gentlemen, blah, blah, blah,

995
01:25:26,540 --> 01:25:27,680
can't vote out, so...

996
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:32,240
The person who wins immunity in this
round would have to vote ultimately for

997
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:33,240
person that goes off.

998
01:25:33,960 --> 01:25:35,140
This is the contest.

999
01:25:36,020 --> 01:25:38,180
It's a children's nursery rhyme.

1000
01:25:38,900 --> 01:25:40,660
I'm going to hand each one the rhyme.

1001
01:25:41,100 --> 01:25:43,920
They're going to hold it in their hands
for 30 seconds and read it to

1002
01:25:43,920 --> 01:25:44,920
themselves.

1003
01:25:45,160 --> 01:25:50,240
When they are done, by name, they will
be called up alphabetically in order.

1004
01:25:50,660 --> 01:25:54,920
The person that can get through the
rhyme the most wins this immunity

1005
01:26:05,980 --> 01:26:08,540
Okay, you rock survivors, let me take
all your pages.

1006
01:26:08,880 --> 01:26:11,300
We'll start with Bernie, and go Bernie.

1007
01:26:11,840 --> 01:26:17,020
Goosey goosey gander, whither while I
wander.

1008
01:26:17,300 --> 01:26:18,300
No, close.

1009
01:26:18,960 --> 01:26:19,960
Next.

1010
01:26:20,980 --> 01:26:24,560
Goosey goosey gander, whither shall I
wander.

1011
01:26:26,210 --> 01:26:27,870
Upstairs or downstairs?

1012
01:26:28,210 --> 01:26:29,210
Next.

1013
01:26:29,350 --> 01:26:31,250
Goosey goosey gander, where the shall I
wander?

1014
01:26:31,470 --> 01:26:32,490
Upstairs or downstairs?

1015
01:26:32,750 --> 01:26:33,750
Where's my woman?

1016
01:26:33,790 --> 01:26:35,470
Up. Close, but you are the winner.

1017
01:26:35,790 --> 01:26:37,210
Yeah! Woo!

1018
01:26:37,870 --> 01:26:41,210
Woo! Do I get to vote off somebody on
the island? Ward.

1019
01:26:42,550 --> 01:26:45,390
Ward, now you have to vote who leaves
the island.

1020
01:26:45,970 --> 01:26:52,070
Okay. I think that only in fairness, I
should vote off the

1021
01:26:52,070 --> 01:26:55,340
woman. Because the woman needs to... Big
surprise.

1022
01:26:55,780 --> 01:26:57,300
The woman needs to... Big surprise.

1023
01:26:57,520 --> 01:26:58,520
Because... No, no.

1024
01:26:58,940 --> 01:27:02,580
It's for your own good. For your own
good. Yeah. All right? Mm -hmm. All

1025
01:27:03,700 --> 01:27:05,620
What a control freak.

1026
01:27:06,180 --> 01:27:11,000
You're such a control freak. No, I love
you. I love you. No, you don't. I love

1027
01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:13,440
you so much. No, I do. You're so into
yourself. You're so full of shit. Not at

1028
01:27:13,440 --> 01:27:17,420
all. You know what? I'm fine. It's not a
problem. I really don't care. No, I

1029
01:27:17,420 --> 01:27:18,420
love you.

1030
01:27:18,780 --> 01:27:20,740
I really love you, actually.

1031
01:27:21,630 --> 01:27:27,690
I voted for Bernie because, I don't
know, I just think that he could really

1032
01:27:27,690 --> 01:27:29,550
that money to get some help.

1033
01:27:31,610 --> 01:27:38,310
Not that I really want him to win, but
quite frankly, I find Bernie Lombardo

1034
01:27:38,310 --> 01:27:40,510
physically repulsive.

1035
01:27:42,390 --> 01:27:45,910
Because I'd rather have a half -wit than
a backstabbing jerk -off.

1036
01:27:46,980 --> 01:27:51,640
Because he was the only one that didn't
give anybody a hard time or give me a

1037
01:27:51,640 --> 01:27:55,000
hard time for walking around naked all
through the island. He didn't bother

1038
01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:56,000
anybody.

1039
01:27:56,500 --> 01:28:02,340
The reason I'm voting for Ward is
because I respect his disgusting,

1040
01:28:02,660 --> 01:28:04,860
backstabbing, conniving ways.

1041
01:28:05,180 --> 01:28:09,300
And Ward, you certainly are all of that.
So congratulations.

1042
01:28:16,620 --> 01:28:19,980
All right, we've called the vote, and
let's count them.

1043
01:28:20,600 --> 01:28:22,040
One vote for Ward.

1044
01:28:22,540 --> 01:28:23,700
Oh, don't put my name, man.

1045
01:28:23,920 --> 01:28:27,340
One vote for Bernie. Oh, man. Bernie
Lombardo.

1046
01:28:28,640 --> 01:28:29,640
Bernie.

1047
01:28:29,940 --> 01:28:32,380
Another vote for Ward.

1048
01:28:32,720 --> 01:28:33,780
Oh, don't put my name again.

1049
01:28:34,880 --> 01:28:35,880
Journalism.

1050
01:28:36,620 --> 01:28:38,600
Another vote for Bernie.

1051
01:28:38,820 --> 01:28:39,820
Oh, man.

1052
01:28:40,960 --> 01:28:44,120
Bernie. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
This is Bernie.

1053
01:28:44,650 --> 01:28:45,650
Not Bernie.

1054
01:28:45,850 --> 01:28:48,550
It's three votes. There is no Bernie on
this island.

1055
01:28:48,850 --> 01:28:49,850
It's three votes.

1056
01:28:50,390 --> 01:28:56,870
But there's no... We have a tie between
Ward and... It was pronounced

1057
01:28:56,870 --> 01:29:01,130
Bernie, even though it was misspelled.
Whoever could do the most push -ups will

1058
01:29:01,130 --> 01:29:02,130
win the $100.

1059
01:29:04,610 --> 01:29:10,010
And... And... Let's start with the last
contest.

1060
01:29:11,250 --> 01:29:13,770
Gentlemen, get down on your knees.

1061
01:29:16,469 --> 01:29:19,870
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

1062
01:29:22,410 --> 01:29:23,410
Time.

1063
01:29:41,410 --> 01:29:43,090
Okay, good. You win.

1064
01:29:48,270 --> 01:29:50,610
We're going to Manhattan to have a good
time.

1065
01:29:51,430 --> 01:29:52,490
Yeah, the Pornati.

1066
01:29:52,710 --> 01:29:54,310
Okay, man. Bernie, congratulations.

1067
01:29:55,270 --> 01:29:57,490
$100. We weren't lying. This is the real
thing. $100.

1068
01:29:58,050 --> 01:29:59,050
$100.

1069
01:29:59,710 --> 01:30:03,250
Bernie spent three days here. He was
very drunk. I'm actually very surprised

1070
01:30:03,250 --> 01:30:04,250
that he won.

1071
01:30:04,370 --> 01:30:09,190
Yeah! We did it! Hey, you know, anybody
can win on Erotic Survivor.

1072
01:30:09,410 --> 01:30:12,850
And I hope to see you next time and hope
you had fun, jerk. Well, you know,

1073
01:30:12,870 --> 01:30:13,950
watching naked girls and stuff.

1074
01:30:14,510 --> 01:30:15,510
And, hey,

1075
01:30:16,590 --> 01:30:17,590
congratulations. Yeah!

1076
01:30:19,790 --> 01:30:24,470
Ten bags of high -grade dope! Dope!

1077
01:30:25,930 --> 01:30:27,390
Dope for the director!

1078
01:30:27,910 --> 01:30:30,270
We gotta cook the gorilla.